When I was studying, I hated writing short essays such as thoughts after watching and reading. Now I will summarize the anime I have watched, maybe because it can touch my heart more and write with real feelings.

After watching “Lonely Rock”, I looked back and suddenly saw the shadow of my past. It is not like the leisurely and cheerful daily life of “Lonely Music Girl”, nor the inspirational hard work of “Live Love”. It is a more real reality, which allows me to see the past and present myselfPicture 12

“Escape” at the critical moment

Sometimes, the escape is physical - hiding in a corner and becoming a “mushroom” silently; sometimes, it is mental - eyes wandering, not knowing where to go; sometimes, it is telling a little lie - running away in action. Picture 14 I can understand that feeling. I don’t know how many times I can’t help but find excuses to leave in the middle of a friend’s gathering. I even quit in the middle of some relationships in my life. Figure 16

🧍‍♀ I have few friends, but I am not undesired.

She had almost no friends in school, and she always couldn’t get in the middle of the conversations between her classmates, or she simply used silence to protect herself. It’s not that I don’t want to make friends, I just can’t find a suitable entry point. Others talked passionately, but I was like a mobile phone with no signal. I could only occasionally say a few sporadic words, and then quickly silenced them. Figure 17 She will imagine herself as a bag of garbage, a little bug hiding in the corner. Although these exaggerated pictures are funny, they can really poke me. It is an illusion of “I am not needed”, which makes people subconsciously choose to retreat to the edge of the stage. He does not participate in any individual or group activities, and does not like the sense of collective honor. Even during recess time, he sits alone in a daze or reads a book. Gradually, he may become what others say: he likes to be alonePicture 15

🎶 Find your own language

Although I am not good at talking, she has a guitar and I have the Internet. In a place with strangers or many people, I may stand for a long time and cannot hold back a word, or speak in a voice that only I can hear, or hesitate for a long time and cannot say a complete sentencePicture 13 But I also found my own “language”: writing, drawing, and typing code. These methods that do not require face-to-face communication make me more comfortable and allow others to truly see my inner self. Now that I am working as a programmer, I prefer to use words to communicate.

🌱 In addition to escaping, I also want to take a step forward

Watching Porchi-chan grow from social fear to gradually integrating into the band, I realized that - escaping is not wrong, but if you stay in the corner, you will never see the farther scenery. Maybe I can’t become the lead singer on the center of the stage in one breath, but I can try to take a small step: take the initiative to say “good morning” to others, try to participate in an event, or write down a record of my mood like this one. I am also slowly changing… Figure 21

Home time

Even in the most familiar home, I behaved the same as usual. I often sit motionless in the corner of the room for hours, practicing and dazing, without having to face anyone. Figure 19 Bury yourself in the room and cannot say a few words a day. Sometimes I wonder, if this continues, will I really degrade and lose my ability to speak?

💡 None of us need to be perfect

The difference is that I have not found that group of friends who can pull me out of my personal world——

  • Hong Xia, the cheerful drummer, pulled me into their small group

  • I want Ryo, the cold-looking bassist, to show me a gentle and affirmative side from time to time.

  • I want to spend a wonderful campus life with the outgoing and lively lead singer KitaPicture 20

    くカッコイイ(so handsome)

    Fortunately, I already have a guitar, otherwise after watching “Rock of Loneliness”, I would want to buy one again. The store in the picture below seems to be the only store to buy guitars in “Qingyin Girl”Picture 18 In addition, the production team is good at arranging the work, but it is too abstract.